Key Takeaways:

  • Open and non-judgmental communication is essential for building strong relationships and resolving conflicts.
  • Effective communication requires active listening, understanding, and empathy.
  • It is important to be aware of our own biases and assumptions and to approach conversations with curiosity and a willingness to learn.

Introduction

In this episode of Finding Sanctuary, psychologist Debbie Draybi and Monsignor Shora discuss the importance of open communication and the challenges that can arise when trying to connect with others. They emphasise the need for active listening, understanding, and empathy. They also share practical strategies for improving communication in relationships. This article will deep dive into three key themes from the conversation and explore their implications for building stronger connections with others.

The Power of Listening Without Judgment

One of the main lessons Monsignor Shora learned during the COVID-19 pandemic was the importance of listening without judgment. He realised that people’s strong emotions and conflicting opinions were often rooted in genuine fears and concerns. By approaching conversations with openness and curiosity, he was able to create a safe space for people to express themselves and have meaningful discussions. Monsignor Shora highlights the need to understand and validate others’ perspectives, even if we don’t agree with them. He believes that dismissing someone’s fears or opinions only leads to further division and misunderstanding.

As Eddie Reaiche, a counselor, points out, effective communication requires us to use our own language and be authentic. He emphasises the importance of understanding the other person’s perspective and using their language to connect with them. By doing so, we can bridge the gap between different communication styles and create a deeper understanding. Eddie also stresses the need for self-awareness and the ability to reset before engaging in conversations. This allows us to leave behind the stress and distractions of the day and approach the conversation with a clear mind and open heart.

The Dance of Communication

Eddie uses the analogy of a dance to explain effective communication. He compares it to a waltz, where both partners need to be in sync and on the same page. Just as in a dance, effective communication requires coordination, understanding, and mutual respect. Eddie teaches couples the importance of being in sync and understanding each other’s needs and emotions. He encourages them to use their own language and find ways to express themselves authentically. By doing so, couples can create a stronger connection and navigate conflicts more effectively.

Monsignor Shora adds to this analogy by highlighting the importance of recognising the power of words. He explains that certain words can have different meanings for different people, and it is crucial to understand how they are being interpreted. By being mindful of the impact of our words and actively listening to others, we can avoid misunderstandings and foster better communication. Monsignor also emphasises the need to recognise and address the different stresses and pressures that each person brings to a conversation. By acknowledging and understanding these factors, we can create a more supportive and empathetic environment for communication.

The Importance of Curiosity and Understanding

Both Monsignor Shora and Eddie emphasise the importance of curiosity and understanding in effective communication. Monsignor Shora shares the story of a couple where one person felt like they were hanging over a cliff with a boulder on their back, while the other person saw a snake threatening their partner’s arm. This illustrates how different perspectives can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. Monsignor encourages couples to take the time to understand each other’s perspectives and validate their feelings. By doing so, they can bridge the gap between their different experiences and find common ground.

Eddie reinforces the idea that effective communication requires understanding and empathy. He encourages couples to reset before engaging in conversations, leaving behind the stress and distractions of the day. By taking a moment to breathe and center themselves, they can approach the conversation with a clear mind and open heart. Eddie also emphasises the importance of using one’s own language and finding ways to express oneself authentically. This allows couples to communicate more effectively and build a stronger connection.

Conclusion

In this episode of Finding Sanctuary, Debbie Draybi, Monsignor Shora, and Eddie Reaiche explore the power of open communication and the challenges that can arise when trying to connect with others. They highlight the importance of active listening, understanding, and empathy, and provide practical strategies for improving communication in relationships. By approaching conversations with curiosity and a willingness to learn, we can create a safe space for meaningful discussions and build stronger connections with others. Effective communication is a dance that requires coordination, understanding, and mutual respect, and by embracing this dance, we can find sanctuary in our relationships.

 

Listen to this episode here