Key Takeaways

  • Physical discipline impacts a child’s self-worth and security; avoiding abuse and showing respect and love builds trust and connection.
  • Controlling responses, disciplining without fear, and apologising – teach accountability and foster a positive parent-child relationship.
  • Effective communication includes understanding the child’s perspective, engaging in meaningful conversations, and being clear and authentic.
  • Building trust and connection in early years fosters healthy relationships, emotional well-being, and teaches self-reflection and growth.

 

Building Trust and Connection

One of the key aspects of parenting that we discussed is discipline and how it can impact a child’s sense of self-worth and security. Eddie Reaiche emphasises the importance of avoiding physical or emotional abuse, as it can lead to low self-esteem and fear in children. He shares his own experience of breaking the cycle of violence and building a close connection with his children by treating them with respect and love.

“When you hit a child, the child doesn’t love you less, but they love themselves less. And when you hear about kids who are abused one way or the other as they’re growing up, they have the lowest self-esteem, they’re all insecure and they’re all fearful of everybody else, particularly authoritarians, because this is the people that they trust. This is the people who they believe is there to take care of them, and these are the people that are abusing them.” – Eddie

Natalie Moujalli also acknowledges that parents can sometimes slip up and react in ways that they later regret. She highlights the importance of controlling our responses and disciplining children in a less fear-based manner. Apologising to children when we make mistakes is also crucial, as it teaches them the value of accountability and shows them that it’s okay to admit when we’re wrong.

“I probably would be the first person to put my hand up and know, I’ve slipped a couple of times… we need to do better at controlling our responses. We can still discipline our children, but in a less fear-responsive way.” – Natalie

Communicating and Connecting

Effective communication is another key aspect of building trust and connection with our children. Eddie emphasises the need to meet children where they are and understand their perspective, even if it seems illogical to us as adults. He encourages parents to get down to their child’s level, both physically and emotionally, to establish eye contact and engage in meaningful conversations.

“I think it’s really important to try and get down to their level. And if you want to talk to someone and help them understand, you need to get down to their level. You stand up and tell them that’s authoritarian. You get down to their level and you talk to them. You’ll get eye contact and engagement, but that’s what you need to do.” – Eddie

Natalie adds that clear and authentic communication is essential for parents and children to be on the same page. While their perspectives may differ, it’s important to show children a glimpse of our own world while also understanding theirs. This level of communication fosters understanding and strengthens the parent-child relationship.

“Communicate, communicate, over communicate. Make it clear so that you’re both on the same page as each other… You need to see their page and you need to do your best to show them a little bit of yours because we both know they’re not the same, which is what you just said. But communicating and trying to connect on an authentic level is imperative.” – Natalie

Implications and Future Outlook

The implications of building trust and connection with our children during the early developmental years are significant. By treating children with respect, avoiding abuse, and apologising when we make mistakes, we create a safe and nurturing environment for them to grow and thrive. This foundation of trust and connection sets the stage for healthy relationships and emotional well-being in the future.

When children witness their parents taking accountability for their behavior and apologising, they learn the importance of self-reflection and personal growth. They understand that making mistakes is a part of life and that it’s possible to learn from them. This not only boosts their confidence but also teaches them how to navigate challenges and failures in a healthy way.

Conclusion

Parenting is a journey of growth and learning, both for parents and children. By prioritising trust, connection, and effective communication, we can create a strong foundation for our children’s emotional well-being. It’s important to remember that we are not perfect, but striving to be good enough parents and acknowledging our mistakes is what truly matters.

As Eddie wisely said, “There’s no such thing as the perfect father or the perfect mother, but there is that message of being a good enough father or a good enough mother.” By continuously learning, adapting, and building trust with our children, we can provide them with the sanctuary they need to navigate life’s challenges and find peace and comfort in their daily lives.

Remember, your child is a child, and their perspective may be different from yours. Keep it simple, meet them where they are, and communicate authentically. Apologise when you make mistakes and show them that accountability and growth are essential parts of life. Together, we can create a future where trust, connection, and understanding thrive.

Thank you for joining us on this episode of Finding Sanctuary. We hope you found valuable insights and inspiration for your parenting journey. Remember to subscribe, share, like, and comment on this podcast. Your feedback is important to us as we continue to explore the shared experiences of our community. Stay tuned for more episodes where we delve deeper into the beautiful and challenging world of parenting and mental health. Bye for now.

 

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