Key Takeaways

  • Watching your reaction in the moment can either open or close the door to honest conversations with your kids.
  • Technology and children is a relationship that needs managing, not avoiding.
  • Real-life connection — through family, community, and sport — remains your most powerful parenting tool.

Here’s something most parents don’t want to admit. You’re probably just as hooked on your phone as your kids are.

That’s not a criticism. It’s the reality of modern parenting in a world that wasn’t designed with families in mind. The conversation in the latest episode of Finding Sanctuary is one every parent needs to hear — and Chehade Richa doesn’t pull any punches.

Watch Your Reaction

Proactive parenting starts with you, not your child. Richa shares a moment from a conversation with a colleague that stopped him in his tracks: “Watch your reaction, because depending on your reaction, it can either encourage your child to open up or shut down.”

One reaction. One moment. And you’ve either built a bridge or burned one.

When kids make mistakes — and they will — the instinct to punish fast is understandable. But it can quietly teach them that honesty isn’t safe. Instead, Richa suggests slowing down and asking: “Tell me why you did that. What were you thinking? What might you do next time?” It shifts the dynamic from discipline to dialogue. And it changes everything.

Eddie Reaiche adds another layer: every child is wired differently. “I never raised my kids the same because none of my kids were the same.” Blanket rules don’t work. What works is knowing your child — their triggers, their needs, their way of processing the world.

Technology and Children — The Honest Conversation

Let’s not pretend technology is going away. Smartphones, social media, streaming — it’s woven into daily life for both kids and adults. The question isn’t whether your children will encounter it. It’s how prepared they’ll be when they do.

Monsignor Shora puts it plainly: “It’s actually rotting the brain.” Blunt, yes. But hard to argue with when you look at what screen time is doing to attention spans and adolescent mental health.

The recent social media ban for under-16s is a step in the right direction. Richa describes it as a “culture shift” — and that’s exactly what it is. At 12, kids aren’t developmentally ready to navigate the social pressures, comparison culture, and content algorithms that come with a social media account. At 16, the conversation looks very different. The ban buys families time. And that time matters.

But here’s what often gets missed: adults aren’t off the hook. Natalie Moujalli admits it herself — “Sometimes I’ll be so deep in my phone… I’ve missed this whole thing.” If the people raising children can’t step away from the screen, how do we expect kids to?

Modern parenting and technology is a two-way conversation. Your habits set the standard.

Real Connection Is Still Your Best Parenting Tool

Screens can’t replace what happens when your kid runs across the room and straight into your arms. That moment Reaiche describes — when your children “just run up to you, avoid everybody else” — that’s the payoff of investing in real-world connection.

Community matters here too. Richa encourages parents to connect with other families and align on digital rules: “Connect with other parents within your friend group… what do you guys think?” When kids see consistent expectations across households, the pressure eases. They’re not the only ones with limits.

Parish events, family picnics, backyard sport — these aren’t old-fashioned ideas. They’re counterweights to a world pulling your children’s attention in a hundred directions. Monsignor Shora recalls seeing his nieces and nephews sitting on the stairs, just talking. No screens. No performance. Just presence.

That’s what you’re protecting.

Need Support Navigating Parenting in the Digital Age?

Modern parenting has never been more complex — and you don’t have to figure it out alone. The team at Hills Sanctuary House works with families facing exactly these challenges: communication breakdowns, technology boundaries, and raising resilient kids in a world that keeps changing.

If your family could use some support, reach out at hshl.org.au. The conversation starts there.