Key Takeaways

  • Parenting from faith, not fear, changes everything — for you and your kids.
  • Career pivots aren’t setbacks. Sometimes they’re the most honest thing you can do for your mental health.
  • Cultural guilt is real, but so is the freedom that comes when you finally let it go.

Here’s something most people in migrant families don’t say out loud: the version of success you were handed might not actually be yours.

It gets passed down quietly — through sacrifice, through silence, through parents who worked too hard to complain and loved too deeply to explain. And somewhere between their story and yours, you start carrying a weight you never agreed to carry.

Linda Habak knows that feeling well.

In a recent episode of the Finding Sanctuary podcast, Linda sat down with host Debbie Draybi for one of the most honest conversations about parenting, cultural identity, and what it actually means to build a life that’s yours. What came out of it wasn’t a tidy success story. It was something better — real.

When Control Masquerades as Motherhood

Linda doesn’t shy away from it. “I was a very anxious mother,” she admits. Three children under three, and she was mopping the floors three times a day. Not because the floors needed it — but because control was the only thing that felt manageable.

Parenting anxiety is more common than we talk about, especially for women navigating cultural expectations of what a good mother looks like. In Lebanese-Australian households — and across many migrant communities — there’s a silent prescription for motherhood. You give everything. You hold everything together. You don’t stop.

But Linda learned the hard way that you can’t pour from an empty cup. “Rest is critical because your cup has to be full in order to give others,” she says. It sounds simple. Living it is a different story.

The Career Pivot Nobody Sees Coming

Linda’s professional journey didn’t follow a straight line — and that turns out to be the point.

She started with aspirations in fashion, moved into marketing, and eventually found her way to interior design. Not through a carefully mapped career plan, but through intuition. “It was very much just guided by a very strong intuition of what is the next thing that I should do,” she shares.

What’s striking is how her career pivot was also an act of mental health care. Redefining success — moving away from what looked impressive on paper toward what actually aligned with who she was — changed everything. Her anxiety didn’t disappear overnight. But she stopped feeding it by forcing herself into spaces that didn’t fit.

If you’ve ever wondered whether a career change is self-indulgent or irresponsible, Linda’s experience pushes back hard on that. Sometimes, redefining success is the most grounded, responsible thing you can do.

Parenting from Faith, Not Fear

One of the most quietly powerful moments in the episode comes when Linda names something many parents feel but rarely articulate. “I realised I was parenting from a place of fear and not faith,” she reflects.

Fear-based parenting doesn’t look dramatic. It looks like hovering. Overexplaining. Needing to know the outcome before you let your child take a step. It’s rooted in love — but it’s also rooted in anxiety, and it can quietly suffocate the very independence you’re trying to build.

The shift Linda describes isn’t about becoming a passive parent. It’s about trusting that your children are capable, and trusting yourself enough to step back.

Cultural Guilt and the Long Road to Self-Worth

This is where the conversation gets especially honest.

For first-generation migrants and their children, success can come wrapped in guilt. You’ve done well — but have you done enough to justify what your parents sacrificed? Are you even allowed to enjoy it? “If you asked me that 10 years ago, I probably would have said no,” Linda admits when asked whether she felt deserving of her achievements.

Cultural guilt operates below the surface. It shapes how you work, how you rest, and whether you let yourself celebrate. Over time, Linda found her way to a different definition of success — one built on faith, health, and genuine fulfilment rather than external validation. It didn’t happen quickly. But it happened.

Your Story Deserves Space Too

Linda’s journey — through parenting anxiety, career pivots, cultural guilt, and hard-won self-acceptance — isn’t unique to her. Versions of it are playing out in living rooms, workplaces, and therapy offices all over Australia.

These conversations matter. They name things that often go unnamed, and they remind us that redefining who we are isn’t a betrayal of where we came from. It’s part of the journey.

Ready to Find Your Own Sanctuary?

If any of this resonates — if you’re carrying the weight of cultural expectations, parenting pressure, or a version of success that no longer fits — talking to someone can help. The team at Hills Sanctuary House understands the intersection of cultural identity, family dynamics, and mental health. You don’t have to figure this out on your own.

Book a counselling session at hshl.org.au and take the first step toward a life that actually feels like yours.